A=Authentic G=Goals (#coateisaGOAT)
Hello, my name is Maggie, and I am a codependent people-pleaser. I open the blog this way because I feel like I really need to be completely honest with you. In reality, that’s why I am here. This blog is a sort of self-acceptance therapy for me. I am not here because I am perfect. In fact, quite the opposite; I am here to put in the work every day to try to overcome deep-seated habits that formed before I realized I was creating habits that I would eventually outgrow or realize were the result of behaviors learned before I could consciously understand why the habits developed.
What are some of your habits you enjoy? Make a list. Like, right now! Believe it or not, it’s really hard for me to name all of my good habits. Probably due to the fact that I do these things on autopilot. So, here’s the beginning of my list:
- I make my bed daily.
- I carry my water bottle with me everywhere.
- On my way home from work, I call to see if anyone needs anything.
- I kiss Richie before I leave the house (no exceptions).
- I brush my teeth daily.
- I put on chapstick every night before I go to bed.
- I read Jesus Calling every day.
You get the picture. Now, the habits that I listed above are habits that I have developed, and I know serve me in my current reality.
In Jen Sincero’s book, You Are a Badass, she says, “Our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our habits, and our habits become our realities.” Apply that to all the habits that you can think of that are part of your daily routine. Do you have some habits or beliefs that are not true to who you are? Where did those habits originate? Were they handed down to you from your parents, siblings, aunts or uncles, childhood caregivers, or friends? For example, why do you refer to your tail bone as your sacroiliac? – That’s what my Nanny said. Why do you iron pillowcases? – My mother taught me that was proper. Why do you fold towels in thirds? – My mother taught me that’s how they displayed best on open shelves. Why do you take your shoes off when you walk in the house? – My aunt always had light colored carpet. Obviously, these are just some examples. And no, I do not iron pillowcases anymore…
The point is that sometimes our habits are obsolete. You need to really look at your routine and make sure that your habits are helping you be the most authentic you. Are your habits conveying the reality that you want? What does being overweight say about you? Is that the reality you want to portray? What does smoking cigarettes say about you? What does always being late do to the perception others have of you? Is that the person you want people to see? All of these things are habits that you are currently choosing to be part of your reality.
What are some of your habits that you want to change? And yes, I am purposefully staying away from calling a habit good or bad. I prefer to think of them as useful or useless. Here’s my list habits that do not serve me any longer:
- Having to finish my evening with a few Oreo cookies.
- Hitting snooze 15 times after my alarm goes off.
- Drinking that last drink when I should have stopped at…well…
- Leaving every light on in the house, especially when I leave a room.
- Leaving the folded laundry on the kitchen table instead of putting it away.
- Staying on Instagram an additional 30 minutes instead of going for a walk.
Your assignment this week is to inventory your habits. Which habits are serving you and helping you become the person you want to be? What habits are holding you back? What are some alternative habits that might be better? What is the message you want your current reality to send to the universe? Pick one habit you want to consciously work on (build/break) in April.
Next week we will look at the habit cycle: How to Build/Break a Habit – Part 2
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